|
|
||
|
Dalis’ banters in SoA |
||
|
* * * |
||
|
|
Aekanaro - |
Your step
falters, your vision spins, and you feel something is very wrong. For an
instant you are conscious of nothing but the rushing of your blood. The feeling
passes, but far too slowly for your liking. |
|
|
Haer’Dalis - |
I would
imagine so. You have had a rather interesting manipulation cast upon you. I
would be wary of any changes in your health. |
|
* * * |
||
|
|
Aekanaro - |
Your blood cools,
and mind and body are reunited under your control. Your will had faltered,
and the essence of Bhaal was there to take advantage. The void where your
soul once was overflowed with murderous fury, the mark of a deity that no
longer exists. It was mindless and horrible to
behold. |
|
|
Haer’Dalis - |
Well... Reminds me
of home... The bad
parts... Aekanaro, have you done this befo... No, no I don't suppose you have.
You have channeled the power of a dead god through you and maintained enough
will to tell about it. Count your blessings. If this happens much more you
will cease to be yourself. It's just a theory of mine, but one you should be
wary of. But besides the danger, this has been a wonderfully chaotic show. |
|
* * * |
||
|
|
Aekanaro - |
Haer'Dalis,
the tiefling bard who has been a unique companion, always enigmatic and
obsessed with entropy. Why he continues to follow you, you don't really know. |
|
|
Aekanaro - |
Haer'Dalis...
you don't need to accompany me any further, if you don't wish to. This isn't
your fight. |
|
|
Haer’Dalis - |
Ahh, but I
have little choice in the way of it now, my cautious raven. Your life is an
act of such vivid interest to me, I cannot help but remain at your side to
see how the last act unfolds before me. My blades stand ready to fall, if
entropy dictates it is so. |
|
|
Haer’Dalis - |
Ah, let the
muses fly once again! A victory has been won this day that shall be sung of
through the ages! Entropy works its end even on those who seek to rise above
it... what a truer claim could be made? |
|
|
Aekanaro - |
The pain
subsides, and you open your eyes to horror beyond imagining. It is an assault
on your senses, a collection of nightmare sensations. This, surely, is Hell. |
|
|
Haer’Dalis - |
Ahhh, back
in the planes, I see. And the hard way, too, it seems. Adventuring with you
does seem to have its odd turns, my raven. |
|
|
Haer’Dalis - |
Ahhh, this
is a fine battle that shall ring throughout the planes! Live or die, this has
been a wondrous adventure! Now we face off with Oblivion! |
|
* * * |
||
|
|
Haer’Dalis - |
A word, good
knight Anomen...in the last battle, I noticed you pulling back and parrying...
Next time you see an opening like that, my advice is to take advantage of it. |
|
|
Anomen - |
I did, actor...
So you can stop pushing your weight around and leave the fighting to those of
us who can handle the front line. |
|
|
Haer’Dalis - |
Aye,
Anomen,
talk as you wish. For all your swagger, you wouldn't last a day upon the
Planes. |
|
|
Anomen - |
Look,
harlequin, go on and tell your tales... I'm sure someone here believes them.
Now get out of my sight before I skewer you and your liar's soul. |
|
* * * |
||
|
|
Haer’Dalis - |
Ah,
Cernd,
my rustic, wind-borne swallow! These woods have such a regal bearing, their
airs so sweetly scented by the leaf's decay... I delight so
at the sparrows twittering above and look...there passes a prancing squirrel,
all delighted by the softness of our approach! |
|
|
Cernd - |
Ha, that prancing
squirrel over yonder? If you could only understand his speech, your face
would flush quite red at its vulgarity. Let us just
say that he is less than pleased by the loudness of your voice and the fact
that you are currently standing on his cache of nuts. |
|
|
Haer’Dalis - |
...
Cernd,
you could have explained that in a manner that would not have involved me
wincing. |
|
* * * |
||
|
|
Edwin - |
Bard, my
considered and correct opinion of actors is this - you are irresponsible,
irrational and incapable of adult emotion without first reducing it to some
banal personal, material or sexual credo. I can only make
it my faintest hope that this definition doesn't include you, as well. |
|
|
Haer'Dalis - |
As an actor,
it is mandatory to be able to express and convey emotion, not be emotional.
As for your inastute observation, a critic is a legless man who teaches
running to the fleet of foot. |
|
|
Edwin - |
At least I
don't find it necessary to have others write my life for me or have its mundane
plot plagiarized from common sources. |
|
|
Haer'Dalis - |
No, but you
do seem to require my validation by spouting a random insult where none was
deserved. Dwell on that while we fade. |
|
* *
* |
||
|
|
Haer'Dalis - |
"I once
knew a Red Mage of Thay Who dreamed
of lichdom some day. He said he
knew how to do it But he still
managed to screw it up in the
funniest way." |
|
|
Edwin - |
(Thank the
gods he is not a better poet. This is one tale we would rather not see
immortalized in print!) |
|
* * * |
||
|
|
Haer’Dalis - |
Ah, my
hound, this city be the great world of commerce! Perhaps we can sell Jaheira? |
|
|
Jaheira - |
Cut your
wit, bard. The day has been long already, without you adding hours to it. |
|
|
Haer’Dalis - |
Cut my wit?
Why, certainly, if I could only use your nose's razor edge to perform the
task. |
|
|
Jaheira - |
Aye, it
seems I've sharpened it upon the grindstone of your heart. |
|
|
Haer’Dalis - |
Well, my
frumpy ptarmigan, I must protest- |
|
|
Jaheira - |
"Methinks
thou dost protest too much." Aye, I can quote the poets too. If you must
protest, I respond only to hunger strikes and, even then, too late. |
|
|
Haer’Dalis - |
Oh Aekanaro,
raven of sympathy! Yon woman is stifling my creativity and stealing thunder
from my wit! I swear I cannot work amidst the lashings of her tongue! |
|
* * * |
||
|
|
Haer’Dalis - |
Why do you
stare at me so, Jaheira? Have I offended you? My manner is oft grim but I did
not think you so sensitive to it. |
|
|
Jaheira - |
No,
no, I
find your wit a treat, especially when it is unleashed upon the hapless that
did not see it laying in wait. |
|
|
Haer’Dalis - |
Then why the
glances as my head turns away? |
|
|
Jaheira - |
Forgive me the
curiosity, but you are quite alien to me. You are not of this place, and do
not fit into the natural order, at least not by design. |
|
|
Haer’Dalis - |
Ahh, then
you are wary, and are intent on keeping me under guard? |
|
|
Jaheira - |
Not so much,
but I am interested to see where your niche finds itself. I am wondering what
you will balance, for all things have their counterpart... |
|
|
Haer’Dalis - |
I see.
Perhaps I straddle the fence, providing my own balance. Perhaps I drop things
on either side as whim dost take me. |
|
|
Jaheira - |
Or perhaps
you enjoy the discord of chaos because you have not found that niche as yet.
We shall see. |
|
* * * |
||
|
|
Jan - |
Haerry, I
have an idea for a play. |
|
|
Haer’Dalis - |
Please,
Jan,
my name is Haer’Dalis. |
|
|
Jan - |
You see,
Haerry, Angus the Giant Beaver is ousted from his house and home by the
Bullywag bullies to embark on an epic quest that takes him to the next pond. |
|
|
Haer’Dalis - |
Yes,
epic. Go on. |
|
|
Jan - |
No,
no, no,
this is only the beginning. Along the way, he encounters Gurgen the Hormonal
Moose and a friendship quickly develops between the two, seeing them through
times of great trial and tribulation, though the friendship also caused a
great deal of trial and tribulation, as you can well imagine. |
|
|
Haer’Dalis - |
What, if I
may ask, is a moose? |
|
|
Jan - |
Too late,
I’m already on to great trials and tribulations - Think of it, Haerry, such
broad and vital themes. Anyhow, the moose catches a curious and ultimately
fatal disease and Angus, as a final testament to the friendship, enshrines
him within a wooden tomb in the middle of the lake, before throwing himself
in the lake to drown.. |
|
|
Haer’Dalis - |
Jan, beavers
can’t drown. They spend half their life underwater. |
|
|
Jan - |
There’s no
point in arguing, Haerry. It’s a true tale and if you have any doubt, you can
ask my great-aunt |
|
|
Haer’Dalis - |
Pray I never
go there, Jan. Pray I never go there. |
|
* * * |
||
|
|
Jan - |
Well. That's
all very interesting. Much more so than the last time I met a god. |
|
|
Haer'Dalis - |
Aye, I have
been fortunate to see the odd deity in my time on the planes. At least those
times that they chose to travel openly, that is. What manner of encounter do
you speak of? |
|
|
Jan - |
It was
Oghma, the god of knowledge. Although I can't say I really met him, I
suppose, as he was drunk and fast asleep in cousin Roffer's back lawn. Or
perhaps I should say ON cousin Roffer's back lawn... he was a giant of an
avatar, sprawled out and snoring. I wonder how you get a god drunk? |
|
* * * |
||
|
|
Garrick - |
My love for
the Lady Irlana leaves me so weak in the knees there is almost no other
thought I can hold in my head! .(sigh) I sometimes despair that Lady Irlana
will never be mine. |
|
|
Haer’Dalis - |
You are a bard,
man...look into the depths of you heart and draw from that well a potion that
will please your lady. Speak of things that will move a mountain by your
passion and eloquence! To do aught else would be to shame your profession. |
|
|
Garrick - |
Eh? What was
all that? Can I write it down? |
|
* * * |
||
|
|
Haer’Dalis - |
Keldorn, my
faithful hound...how is it that you came to be a paladin, anyhow? |
|
|
Keldorn - |
I must say,
'twas only practical. My mother was of noble birth and my father a ranking
cleric. I might have followed in his pages but it lacked the appeal of holy
warrior. |
|
|
Haer’Dalis - |
Ah, the old
codger's tale be true, then: "What is bred in the bone shall out in the
flesh." You charge
ahead, of valor born, the best of your parental blood comingled here within
you, their very destinies made true by your every righteous act! Alas, where
be an inkwell and some papyrus when I need it? |
|
|
Keldorn - |
Ho,
Haer'Dalis, your poetry ennobles me far beyond my worth. I am a simple man
and by simple decisions, I have made my way about this earth. If you
wouldst write of me, write of me as I would wish to be remembered. |
|
|
Haer’Dalis - |
Aye, but
then where would go the poetry, good knight? Heh... but come, Aekanaro seems
impatient with our chatter. Let us put it off, then. |
|
* * * |
||
|
|
Keldorn - |
I must say,
ye bard, that I find the use of your musical abilities during combat to be
most effective. Play on, I say. |
|
|
Haer’Dalis - |
Aye, and ye
can stride into the forefront, ye hound. I'll just hang around in the back
awhile, truly enough. |
|
|
Keldorn - |
I hardly
thought I'd see you timid, Haer'Dalis. |
|
|
Haer’Dalis - |
More bored
than timid, Lord Keldorn. With your blade a'glittering in the sun like that,
you leave few foes for me to challenge. |
|
|
Keldorn - |
Nay, good
man, they flee not from the brightness of my sword but from the sheer
wretchedness of your playing! |
|
|
Haer’Dalis - |
Ha!
'Twill
be music to my ears to wrap this lute about your head, someday, my aging
hound. Now go out there with your blade once again and make yourself useful,
aye? |
|
* * * |
||
|
|
Korgan - |
There not be
enough critters in all the world to stain me axe nearly enough. I've killed
a'plenty already, an' I yearn yet for more. Come, then, and face this dwarf!
Aye, come! |
|
|
Haer’Dalis - |
My hound, my
hound, my dog of war...do not invite death to come knocking at your door. I
am sure there be plenty of diversions awaiting your keen edge, anon. |
|
|
Korgan - |
If there be
more of ye out skulking in the shadows, then show yerselves! I have to have
some fun...I cannay go about tough and unfeeling all the time! |
|
|
Haer’Dalis - |
You do have
a certain invective creativity, Korgan. Now, if only you could direct that
skill for invention into something more cerebral, less bravado. |
|
|
Korgan - |
Cease yer
jabber, fool! Blasted actors! Even nay a script or play and still ye need to
be the center of all! Strewth! |
|
* * * |
||
|
|
Korgan - |
Balderdash,
imbecile! I've more than a fair mind to tear ye a new dirtchute, ye lying
swindler! Faerun would be none the poorer, with ye pushing up daisies. Ye'd be wise
to skulk about in the shadows and pick yer dainty locks, else yer time be up.
Hear me, scoundrel? |
|
|
Haer’Dalis - |
I hear you
plain enough, dwarf. I seek no quarrel with yer prowess. |
|
|
Korgan - |
So the
snakebelly ain't as dumb as he looks. There's a lad. |
|
* * * |
||
|
|
Haer’Dalis - |
A question,
my hound and hamster...why is it that you come into such rage when we fight?
'Tis as if all the furies of the planes were all at once let loose within
your veins! |
|
|
Minsc - |
Boo says
fight hard so I fight hard. |
|
|
Haer’Dalis - |
Ah, Boo says
that, does he? |
|
|
Minsc - |
Space
hamsters are never wrong! |
|
* * * |
||
|
|
Nalia - |
I can’t
stand seeing all these taverns around the city. They exist simply to drain
the poorer classes of their money and throw them into such a stupor that they
can’t even realize their own oppression. |
|
|
Haer’Dalis - |
Aye, my
darling loon, drink is to the poor what theater is to the rich; a costly
chance to play out fantasies that may never come true. |
|
|
Nalia - |
Don’t
patronize me, Haer’Dalis, for I have never done the same to you. |
|
|
Haer’Dalis - |
Ha, my dear,
‘tis true for had your family patronized me while I was still with the
theater, I would be far wealthier than I am today. |
|
* * * |
||
|
|
Aran - |
Good hunting.
Report to me if anything happens. Oh, and the bonus we talked of... Take
these items. You will find them useful, I am sure. |
|
|
Nalia - |
I suppose we
have little choice, even though I have trouble trusting... these people. They
do not seem forced into this kind of life at all. |
|
|
Haer’Dalis - |
Yes,
wonderfully chaotic bunch, aren't they. Sneaking through the gutters for the
love of it and no other reason. |
|
|
Nalia - |
But there
are so many that have no choice. |
|
|
Haer’Dalis - |
And these
are not them. You will have to save your need to give charity for another
day. This matter is strictly business. |
|
* * * |
||
|
|
Aekanaro - |
Tiax? Is
that you? I haven't seen you in ages. What have you been up to? |
|
|
Tiax - |
Tiax rules
all from this throne room! You are all servants of his majesty, even as you
feign ignorance! |
|
|
Haer’Dalis - |
You're just
not all there, are you. |
|
|
Tiax - |
The heavens
move because he waves his hand! The waters stir as he twiddles his toes! The
winds blow as he passes! And on a whim he can break them all! |
|
|
Aekanaro - |
If you are
so powerful, why don't you leave this place? |
|
|
Tiax - |
...
err... |
|
* * * |
||
|
|
Haer’Dalis - |
Tell me,
Valygar, your family was once rich and powerful, yes? |
|
|
Valygar - |
Yes... what
is your point? |
|
|
Haer’Dalis - |
I simply am
interested in the story of how they have fallen so far. Decayed, as it were,
over the years until you are the last member of a small and decrepit estate. |
|
|
Valygar - |
My family
lost its wealth long before I inherited anything of it. And none of it
interests me, anyway. I'd much rather spend my time in the wild. |
|
|
Haer’Dalis - |
And so the
family will end completely, then. How very right and natural that is, a cycle
having come to completion. Hmm. Yes. |
|
|
Valygar - |
I'm glad it
amuses you. I, myself, have had to live through my family's decline and I
would rather not discuss it as if it were some point of philosophy. |
|
|
Haer’Dalis - |
Perhaps I
could ask you more about it? It would make a wonderful story, I think. |
|
|
Valygar - |
Mind your
own business. |
|
* * * |
||
|
|
Haer’Dalis - |
So this
ancestor of yours, Lavok, he created such beasts as ghouls and skeletons and
other wakened dead of that ilk? |
|
|
Valygar - |
I did say he
was a necromancer, didn't I? As I understand it, Lavok felt that tampering
with the veil that seperates life from death was his perogative. |
|
|
Haer’Dalis - |
I see. I
imagine that your family must have been exposed to many such things over
their time. |
|
|
Valygar - |
The old
family was, yes. They continued to practice Lavok's magics long after he
left, but my particular branch was not interested in such pursuits. They left in
disgust, watching from afar as the old family crumbled over the years. And
then my family inherited what little of Lavok's fortune was left. That fortune
brought us no end of grief, however. My family eventually took up his
past-time, as well, to my sorrow. I have no
greater wish than to see such magic wiped from Faerun. What's dead is dead,
and that should be the end! Tampering with life goes against all reason! |
|
|
Haer’Dalis - |
Aye,
hawk, aye. A truth's been spoken and it's been spoken from your tongue. |
|
* * * |
||
|
|
Haer'Dalis - |
I watch you,
blackbird. I watch you and 'tis as if you are a dancer pinned between two
panes of glass called Bliss and Rage. |
|
|
Viconia - |
If I am a dancer,
then I dance for Shar. Take your leering eyes and turn them elsewhere,
planesman. |
|
|
Haer'Dalis - |
And as for
being pinned between those panes of glass? |
|
|
Viconia - |
I have loyalties
that bind me, yes... Do not make bravery your downfall, male. Return to your
world above: these depths are not for you. Izil phor, ji harl. |
|
* * * |
||
|
|
Guard - |
Tell me,
madam! This man WAS begging from you, correct? |
|
|
Viconia - |
I can answer
that, guardsman. The rivvil approached us to ask directions and nothing else. But I have a
question. There was a helpless woman mobbed and nearly burnt at the stake
near here not long ago. Where were you then? Tirelessly hunting beggars, I
suppose? |
|
|
Haer’Dalis - |
It hardly
seems like you, my lovely blackbird, to commit an act of charity. Are you
well? |
|
|
Viconia - |
Do not
concern yourself. If I dislike the law in this city, it is because I know how
some can be disregarded by it completely. The pathetic rivvil can rot in the
Abyss, for all I care. |
|
|
Haer’Dalis - |
And I
thought I was the actor of this troupe. How intriguing. |
|
* * * |
||
|
|
Viconia - |
Haer'Dalis,
I blame you for this damnably hummable song playing again and again in my
head, over and over. You are really quite a marvelous tunesmith, not to
mention a clever mimic and talented mime. Have you any
new and lewd burlesque tunes that you might regale me with, musician? |
|
|
Haer’Dalis - |
Viconia, do
you truly think that because you are bewitching in appearance and have the
throaty voice of the most expensive courtesan in King Wingding's House of
Earthly delights... and a body built for untold pleasures that I would fall
for such an old ploy? Blow a little sunshine and I will fall all over myself
to gain your favor? Best think again, dark one. |
|
|
Viconia - |
Men better
than you have walked across lava to kiss a dog who's licked my hand, actor. You're a dreamer,
bard. I'm sure you can imagine lots of wonderful scenes... but they would not
exceed the truth in intensity, depravity or tenure, I assure you. |
|
|
Haer’Dalis - |
Ah...er...pardon
me for a moment whilst my head implodes. |
|
* * * |
||
|
|
Yoshimo - |
Haer'Dalis,
Haer'Dalis, you think too much and smile too little! Come, my bullywug! Come,
my puss'n'boots! We are in Athkatla, the city of a million smiling faces! |
|
|
Haer'Dalis - |
Aye, parrot,
aye. 'Tis because they're all trying to sell me something! |
|
|
Yoshimo - |
I have seen
your fingers and they are as fast as your tongue! What you don't want to buy,
you can always steal! |
|
|
Haer'Dalis - |
And what you
don't want to steal? ... I trust not your boundless glee, my parrot, for something
in it jingles with the sound of silver. |
|
|
Yoshimo - |
Silver? Or
gold? We pluck it from every corpse we find and steal it from every chest
that we encounter! You are
right, bard, I am twice rewarded: once because I am richer in Aekanaro's care, and
twice because I am richer here than rotting in some prison of the damned. |
|
|
Haer'Dalis - |
Aye, you are
twice rewarded but you have no more been a prisoner than I have been a king...
Consider yourself forewarned, thief. My trust does not come easy and you have
not won it yet. |
|
* *
* |
||
|
|
Yoshimo - |
Haer'Dalis,
a ronin, a rogue. You've more freedom than most and yet you remain as grumpy
as a flea-bitten dog. Why so glum? |
|
|
Haer'Dalis - |
Dogs is it?
A fitting cloak for a blood-hound. You've got the scent now, Yoshimo and
shall bring the prey to your mysterious master. |
|
|
Yoshimo - |
No master
have I save my own conscience. I merely wish to know why life is such a
burden to you. |
|
|
Haer'Dalis - |
Shackles as
heavy as yours cannot be hidden from one who has been a slave. I tire of this
dreadful acting. Leave me be, Yoshimo. |
|
* *
* |
||
|
|
Yoshimo - |
Y-yes,
Master Irenicus, just as you wanted it. I apologize, Aekanaro. There are
circumstances that you are not aware of. |
|
|
Haer'Dalis - |
Interesting.
An uncertain path opens as the party fractures beneath us. Destruction that
was unevitable, though the source is most surprising. |
|
|
Yoshimo - |
I cannot
give a reason that will satisfy. Your wrath will come, regardless. |
